How to Criticise and Receive Criticism While Keeping the Dialogue Alive
Sometimes during a discussion of a project, a service, or in a private conversation, we criticise without realising what impression we leave behind. If criticism — consciously or unconsciously — creates an unpleasant feeling, it serves neither future communication nor its effectiveness.
One of the most damaging patterns is the construction "praise + but". A person first hears something positive, yet the moment the word "but" or "however" appears — they tense up and brace for negative feedback. This pushes people away rather than helping them. To correct this, replace "but" with "and".
For example: "This idea is very interesting, and if we add a feedback form to it — we will be able to continuously improve our product." Such a simple substitution of one word changes the entire character of the statement.
Remember also: when offering critical remarks, it is worth speaking first about the strengths, and only then about the shortcomings — framing them as opportunities for improvement of the idea or project.
It is equally important to respond to criticism correctly, so as to preserve constructive dialogue and the ethics of professional communication, and to keep the interaction effective. This is where the tools of emotional intelligence come to our aid.
How to respond to criticism?
The first piece of advice — defer your initial emotional reaction. Pause before responding, so as not to allow an impulsive negative reaction that could damage your reputation and your working relationship, to analyse the situation, understand the other person's motivation, and build a considered response strategy.
The second piece of advice — do not react defensively: treat the remark as something that opens a discussion rather than closes it. Present your position in the form of a solution or a proposal.
These simple techniques will allow you both to offer criticism and to receive it in a way that leaves a pleasant impression on those you communicate with.
Mykola Ovcharov
